he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize