At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
