So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
