Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
