sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
