I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
