Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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