How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The air taste purple.
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