i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
this boner is exhausting
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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