I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
