This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
