Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
