i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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