I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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