I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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