I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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