If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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