that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
