look no pants
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
that's an acceptable place to lick
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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