well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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