White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
two words...techno handjob
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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