Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
how drunk are you?
Several
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
