im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
babies were throwing up all over the place
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Randomize
