i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize