You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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