plz talk dirty to me
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
