Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
