it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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