I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
