Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
