he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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