Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
