We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
