apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize