Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
