Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
