You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
