very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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