Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
