Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
