...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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