I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
