if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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