Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize