well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
