I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
