Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
