Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
