I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
