Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
false alarm. still invincible.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
