The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
