Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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