Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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