You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Fuck appropriateness.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize