Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
