We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
