I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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