That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
