Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize