All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
