My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
