RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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