FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
