I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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