She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize