But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
