We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
