Im at strip club and am horny
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
