You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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