I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
