i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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