Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
