I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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