so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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